Challenging people can trigger old stories about your worth, your body, and how you "should" show up. In this post, I share practical tools for staying centered in your own values and image- so you can respond and act with clarity instead of shrinking, people-pleasing, or over-performing.

Imagine you have just woken up and you are ready for another day to make magic happen. You get dressed, look in the mirror, and feel ready to take on the day. At the local coffee shop, you run into an old friend. You haven't seen one another in quite some time, and your confidence is at an all-time high until you remember this was the friend who constantly criticized everything about you. Maybe she's changed, you think to yourself. So, with a smile, you say hello, and she smiles back while looking you up and down.

"Oh wow," she says with a smirk. "Look who's cleaned herself up!"

Not only are you appalled, but it shows on your face.

"Sweetie, I'm just joking, you look amazing!"

Knowing this aspect of the relationship, high conflict, takes the stress away from the situation, but it still doesn't make everything okay.

What can you do when you run into someone like this in your life? Here are five suggestions.

1. Don't tell them too much about your personal life, no matter the situation. Especially if it's someone you haven't seen in a long time. There's a reason for that. Go with your gut instincts.

2. Keep conversations short. Make small talk and excuse yourself from the situation. I'm late for an appointment is an excuse that always works well.

3. Let them save the drama for their mama. This person can't pull you into their drama if you don't play the game. Nods and a smile work wonders.

4. Sometimes, it's hard not to display emotion. Cough to reset your mind. Coughing will wipe away that expression and make them forget you reacted to their conflictual remarks.

5. Remember to breathe. Slow breathing will help regulate your thoughts and give you time to choose your words wisely.

High-conflict people know the perfect words to tear you down and second-guess your worth, body image, and/or emotional reactions. When you disengage from the start, they lose interest. Following the above suggestions will work to your advantage, giving you peace of mind.

 #releasestress #itsyourtime #toxicpeople #healthyrelationships #goodcopingskills